Why Do We Feel INSECURE ?
Dr. Lisa Firestone, who co-authored the book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice wrote, “The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others.” This is the sole cause of feeling so insecure.
Do not worry , we have some steps you can follow to over come this Non Real Relationship Breaker !
Dr. Lisa Firestone, who co-authored the book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice wrote, “The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others.” This is the sole cause of feeling so insecure.
1. Stop trying to read minds.
Yeh, I know that your are good in this. You can look at the person and say what he/she is thinking , what all things s/he is hiding from you and all that stuff but believe me, No matter how good you are, you can never be always right. Stop reading his/her mind and hurt yourself.
2. Skip the games and be up front.
Stop playing those guessing games and be upfront. Ask your doubts directly. I know its not as easy as it sounds, it is never easy. Irony here is i too am waiting for the perfect time to ask these questions, so stop guessing and wait for the perfect time and ask them what's bothering you.
3. Stop looking for someone perfect .
No one is perfect, not you nor me. Better than finding the right person, try to be adjusting but not at the sake of changing yourself completely. Be yourself and try to adjust after-all adjustment is important to this ever-changing world.
4. Be confident in yourself.
If they choose you, there is something about you that they like and until and unless you are the same that attractive trait of yours will be always with you. Be confident in yourself and stop feeling so much insecure about yourself.
5. Stop Overthinking.
I know its a next to impossible to stop overthinking if you are someone like me. Think but change the main character of the story. Start thinking of something different, maybe a game you love or the best moments in your life. Just a tip avoid overthinking on the bad memories it will worsen your situation.
6. Avoid the temptation to endlessly analyze.
Somewhat linked to overthinking, stop analyzing the situation , put your notebook down and burn all the notes that you are analyzing just if at all you think you are being cheated, there is nothing you can do to save such a relationship so better not to mess with your brain , use it somewhere else where it could get you productive results.
7. Have lots of outside interests apart from the relationship.
Make friends , have some hobbies believe me its better to think on a same topic again and again. A pet is usually the best one to have in such conditions if not, look for things you are interested in.. maybe photography or reading or anything that you feel happy to do.
8. Don't let yourself become dependent.
Know how to unclog the sink and change a tire. Skills are confidence boosters. Be independent and learn to love yourself.
9. Don't compare your relationship to other people's relationships.
The grass isn't always greener and you never know what's going on behind closed doors. So don't think that your relationship is not any good. Everyone shows the positive side try not comparing or feeling jealous , atleast you are in a relationship, you are luckier than many around you.
10. Trust them.
Believe in what they say , what they do and when they tell you something. Trust is the backbone of everything even in rivalry so keep on trusting them until they shatter that one day.
11. Be Ready for the worst.
Be ready for the worst every moment in what ever you are doing. Believe me this helps. Before starting any task think of the worst and if you are not ready to face that step back.
12. Kill the expectations from your life.
Expectations gives us immense pleasure but do not forget that its temporary. The real life situation maybe completely different and may shatter you much more than that temporary pleasure. Expect but not much. Kill them at origin if you feel they can hurt.
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What relationship issues do you struggle with? When it comes to your relationships, what makes you feel insecure? Please leave us a comment below and share your thoughts.
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